


Car Ride

by spaceandshit



Series: Drabbles [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol, Established Relationship, M/M, mention of sexual situations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 10:25:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4344917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceandshit/pseuds/spaceandshit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>tumblr request-'things I said while I was drunk'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Car Ride

“Hey yo, the party’s starting to die down and like I’m outside with some of our friends. Vriska’s calling a cab for her crew, but can you like come me up, man?” He was practically slurring every word.

 

“Jesus Christ, Dave, how much shit did you drink?” Your free hand instinctively went to temples.

 

“Well, there was beer, and there was beer pong, and there were shots. There was a bunch of alcohol here, Karky.”

 

“Don’t you ever call me ‘Karky’ again, I will punch you the face. And I _know_ there was a lot of alcohol; I’m asking how much _you_ drank.”

 

“Um...a lot? Yeah, a lot.”

 

You sigh. “Did you leave the address on the fridge?” you ask as you walked towards the kitchen.

 

“I think so.”

 

“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

 

 

 

“Karkles! Thanks for coming to pick me up.” He awkwardly tried to throw his arm around you and pull you in for a kiss.

 

“No. No! You reek. No kisses.”

 

“Ah, you’re cruel.”

 

“Just buckle up, okay?”

 

“Mm’kay.”

 

You went ahead and started driving home before asking, “So, how was the party?”

 

He laughed full heartedly. “It was awesome. You should have been there Kat-Kat.”

 

“Where are these horrible nicknames coming from? Is there a divine form I’ve angered that is now supplying you with an infinite amount of nicknames?”

 

“I dunno. So anyways, like, the party, man. The only low point was almost getting puked on by a dude that was getting emotional after having way to many drinks. Also, did you know, it’s really fucking hard to beat Vrisky at beer pong?”

 

Glad to see you’re not the only victim of this plague. “Did you really think you were going to beat Vriska at anything, Dave?” Maybe if you reminded him that non-nicked names existed…

 

“She won at darts! Ass-kat, nobody wins darts when they’re drunk. And trust me, she was drinking.”

 

You couldn’t even fathom a response for that one.

 

“Speaking of Terez-bee,” Dave continued as you wondered when Satan planned to reveal himself, “ she totally was macking on a Lalonde.  But, shh, you didn’t see nothin’.”

 

“We hadn’t been discussing Terezi and, similarly, it is impossible for me to have seen her, since I wasn’t there, asswipe.”

 

He was silent for several moments and, just as you were wondering if he had passed out, he spoke again. “What do you think my chances are in getting them to agree to a foursome?”

 

“Dave!” _Eyes on the road...Eyes on road...Eyes on the-_

 

“Fine. I’ll ask if you can come too. Does that make it an orgy?”

 

“Jesus fucking Christ! I am _trying_ to drive!”

 

“I mean, Tai-Chi liked us and we both like her and didn’t Johnny Depp-peta use to like you? The odds of this happening seem pretty good.”

 

You ignored the nicknames. “ _I’m_ beginning to question why I like you.”

 

“It’s the hair. I tell ya man, ladies love the Strider Stylin’.”

 

You rolled your eyes. “Dave, give me your phone.”

 

“Why?” he whined.

 

“Just hand it over.” Reluctantly he passed it over. You quickly got to the settings and set up a password. “I’ll tell you how to unlock it in the morning.”

 

“Oh come on, Crab-babe, that’s not fair.”

 

“I do not want to wake up to discover you did something, like invite our friends to an orgy, in your drunken stupidity.” At least you were almost home.

 

“So you’re saying I should invite _strangers_?”

 

“ _No!_ ” you snapped.

 

“Who am I supposed to invite to the awesome orgy we’re going to throw then?”

 

“Dave, I swear to hell you better be joking now.”

 

“You already swear to hell and can’t take a joke either.” He let out an exaggerated sigh and slunk back in his seat.

 

“Well, typically, jokes are funny. Also, you’re pouting like a five year old.” You pull into the driveway. “C’mon, let’s get inside.”

 

As you cross the threshold into your townhouse,  you hear Dave whisper, “Thanks for the car ride, _Kar-Kar_.”

 

“That’s it! You’re sleeping on the couch!”

**Author's Note:**

> Not so subtle reference to the ridiculous nick names sometimes seen in davekat fics. I apologize if you were expecting something emotional.


End file.
